From The Beginning: The Day Before

Chapter I. (Parents and Their Alcohol)

“We’re throwing a party! It will be our Divorce Party! And we love you very, very, very much!” That was how I found out my parents were separating. No sit down conversation, no chances for questions to be answered in order to quell any confusion, just a statement of fact. This was happening and I could deal with it or leave.

"We’re calling it our Glamour Tea Party,” they calmly told me, “And everyone is going to need a headshot, so you’ll obviously need to be there to take pictures. Also we already invited everyone so you can’t back out.” I always hated being told what to do, especially after finding out that life as I knew it was collapsing in front of me, but they knew such interesting people and I couldn’t just say no to my parents. Or could I? Whose parents get a divorce then throw a party to celebrate it anyway? Something told me I had to be there… even if I hated every part of it.

I said yes and they said the plan was for everyone to drink out of teacups, like everything certainly was fine and the world hadn’t stopped turning for me or them or anyone. With nothing else to do I begrudgingly began setting up a few backdrops, drank from my teacup and waited for something, anything to take my mind of living in this insanity. Little did I know there was more to come.

Chapter II. (A Woman and Her Keytar)

I always thought that people who showed up first to any party were insane or at the very least slightly masochistic. To say I wasn’t surprised that this Gypsy Woman was the first one to show up that night would be understatement. She had a penchant for striking up a chat with anyone, but only about particularly odd things: like the songs she could play on her keytar she carried around everywhere with her; or literally anything about the castles she owned and how she would theme each one for her own parties. It all felt a little strange to me before I heard the news that day, but now everything felt more normal than this strange experience I was in. While I was taking her picture she asked if I had any requests for songs to celebrate the divorce of my parents for later that night, but before I could answer more people started showing up and she quickly moved on. Not that I really wanted to get into it with her at that moment anyway. Was everyone really this happy my parents were getting divorced or was it because they always threw insanely fabulous parties like Gatsby? I was about to find out.

Chapter III. (A Man and His Beer)

First impressions mean everything and I had never seen the Man before that night. He came in calm, cool and collected, a temperament that I would later find out fit him like a tight suit. In fact, that night would end up being the only time I would not see him in a suit. I tried asking him at that moment what his name was and who invited him the party, but he strongly interrupted me halfway through with:

"I’m just here to get drunk, God dammit!”

Then camera flashed, there was a loud bang, and he was gone; the beer can he had instantly slammed back being the only thing he had left behind. I made a note to myself that whoever managed to slow him down was catching lighting in a bottle. I would later eat my own words, quite literally.

Chapter IV. (A Woman and Her Bunny)

When She first arrived she made it very clear to everyone within ear shot that she was only there to look after the bunny, because, as she would say, ‘It was a very special bunny indeed!’

I hadn’t known her for very long, but there was a certain sense of charm to her attitude regardless of how ridiculous her statements were. She was always making a wild claim about something, like knowing a place where gravity didn’t exist on earth or that she knew magic but could never show you or how she could move things with her mind.

When she asked me to make her look like the Virgin Mary next to the bunny I came to the realization that everyone was following my parents lead that night in wanting to be someone else completely different than who they actually were. I wondered, if that was the point of the party, if I could manage the same feat but for longer like the rest of my life.

Chapter V. (A Woman and Her Wine)

We needed no introduction to each other, because as she often remarked, ‘This wasn’t her first rodeo,’ even though I knew she had never actually been to one before. She showed up last, fashionably late per usual, and bursting through the doors with a force of nature that was to be reckoned with.

She always came to these parties looking for a fight, but for the most part none of her verbal swings ever amounted to real ones so I wasn’t too concerned by her aggressive nature at first. Yet when the camera flashed and the picture popped out, I couldn’t help but notice as she walked away that the bottle she carried in with her was already empty and she was somehow holding onto a new cup that seemed to have appeared from thin air.

I thought about leaving right then and there, but instead reluctantly swung the camera around my shoulder and headed into party with everyone else. It was going to be a long night filled with things I’m sure I would have to keep an eye on…

Stuck In The Middle: The Throes Of Passion

Chapter VI. (The Last Picture I Ever Took)

I was wandering around later that night when I stumbled upon both my parents again. Dadmom was looking more stoic that I had ever seen her and Mommom more genial, which I thought was due to the bunny she was holding.

They asked if I had gotten into any trouble yet and I told them, very matter-of-factly, if anyone needed a babysitter it was each of them now that they were getting a divorce. Mommom couldn’t hide her happiness enough and Dadmom told me that I needed to relax more, “Everyone’s parents go through a divorce, it’s a completely normal thing to happen.”

I didn’t think either of them understood the meaning of the word normal, as nothing about that night was. Yet as I was about to tell exactly how it wasn’t, I was prematurely cut off from putting both of them in their place by Mommom shoving the bunny into my face. How did the Virgin Mary lose her bunny?

“How can you be angry with this thing around?!” she said, “Be a good boy and take a picture before it’s all over.” I snapped the photo and then it was over. They left me alone again as they split apart in two different directions. It was the last picture I ever took of them together.

Chapter VII. (The Architect)

I was sitting alone with my thoughts by a bookshelf and stuck in quite a somber mood when a man walked right up to me, sat down, then leaned over and introduced himself by saying, "I'm The Architect." I managed a laugh as I shook his hand and sarcastically asked what he had made recently.

"I created this whole safe space in which you’ve been creating,” he replied, holding his arms out wide.

I didn’t really understand that at the time, and in some ways still don’t, so I asked him if he could do that to my life: “I need a safe space to live."

That made him laugh, but I think he could tell I really needed it because he sat with me for a few more minutes to keep me company. We stayed in silence a bit longer until he suddenly had a thought occur to him and exclaimed: “It seems like you need something a bit stronger than tea!”

When I said I wasn’t drinking tea, he merely winked and handed me another cup conjured from thin air. I stared it down momentarily before I reluctantly grabbed at it. As I chugged its contents down he walked away, almost as if fading into the distance. I never saw him again.

Chapter VIII. (When You See Your Gypsy)

By the time I had finished what The Architect gave me I was seeing more than double. Part of me thought that maybe he had slipped me something, but the other, stronger part of me thought that even if that was case, then I hoped like hell it made me forget everything about that night.

I wandered into another room and became mesmerized at once by my Gypsy as she was belting out another keytar rendition of Fleetwood Mac: “And it all comes down to you / well you know that it does / and lightning strikes maybe once, maybe twice / oh and it lights up the night / and you see you're a gypsy / you see your gypsy.” Was it just the tea or was she really singing directly to me?

I snapped a photo in that moment and after her last song was over began to approach her to discuss the possibilities of Space Castles when the doors behind us suddenly burst open and light flooded in. No amount of tea from The Architect could have prepared me for what came next...

Chapter IX. (A New Set of Parents)

The interruption gave me a moment of clarity away from the fog of what I was sure was drug laced tea, and there they were, The Man more stoic than ever before holding (Theresa) giggling wildly as if they had just come out of courthouse.

“I’d like to make an official announcement! I have just met the this Man and fallen in love, so we’re going to get married!” Then they kissed as everyone in the room shouted out with a fervent glee that made the room sound more like a zoo than anything else.

It was the last thing I could take as question after question filled my head and my world crashed down around me. I thought these parties were supposed to be fun. With my clarity gone for good I tore away from the room before I could hear anymore. He never put her down once the entire time everyone clapped and cheered.

Chapter X. (White Tears)

She came looking for a fight and thought she found one that night in me, crumpled in the corner of a random room with tears streaming down my face. I was still seeing more than double when she walked right up to me as if it were a movie and crouched down next to me. We stared at each other not saying a word for what seemed like forever as she lifted her cup to my face and let the tears fall in.

Then she pulled the cup away and gave me a toast, “To crying a river and building a bridge to get the fuck over it!” Then she drank the whole cup straight down.

Laughing hysterically, she turned from me and walked away. It was the most normal thing I remembered from that night. She and I never talked about that moment ever again. We didn’t need to.

End Of The Road: The Day After

Chapter XI. (Meeting Your Father For The First Time)

I woke up the next morning in the same place I had been left, so I got up and headed to the kitchen hoping against hope that the night before was some crazy, wild dream even though I knew it wasn't. To my surprise as I walked in there He was, acting like nothing had happened and everything was normal, making a rather large breakfast. I sat at the kitchen table and put my head down to rest, not being able to bear the sight of him. A few minutes later I heard a clunk on the table and looked up to find a plate of hot food and a glass of orange juice in front me and The Man standing over me.

“Morning... Son.” Then He turned away and continued busying himself around the kitchen.

I hated him already, but I was starving. I began eating while I wondered what a normal family was like. I liked him better when he wasn’t making me breakfast or even when I didn’t know him at all.

Chapter XII. (Conversations About Castles)

My Gypsy walked in and helped herself to the food my apparent new father was making. She somehow knew where all the plates and utensils were, but I was still too hungover and distraught to really care how. I really just wanted the confusion to stop and everything to go back to normal. So as she sat down next to me she asked if we could continue our conversations about Space Castles, I clung to the most abnormal conversation I didn’t remember to avoid the possibility of a deafening silence with a Man I barely knew.

Chapter XIII. (In the Pursuit of Magic)

Mary came in next, and instead of eating, asked me if she could have just one last picture before she left. I obliged if only to be taken away from the continued strangeness I was experiencing, but I should have known that was impossible. As she posed she asked me if I believed in magic and I replied, “I’m always in the pursuit of magic.”

She must have liked that answer because when she asked me if I’d ever seen seen a rabbit pulled out of a hat and I replied, “No…” She winked at me with a mysterious little laugh. I looked through the viewfinder for her last picture when a hole opened up, and before I knew it, she was gone, grabbing her bunny with her.

I honestly thought I was done with seeing it all.

Chapter XIV. (The Next Party)

I walked back into the kitchen shaking my head to find the new couple staring off in different directions; Dadmom (or was it now Mommom?) lovingly to my new apparent Father; The Man off into what I’m sure he thought was the future.

They asked for a picture to commemorate their union the night before and I groaned but obliged. I setup for a shot when Dad/Mommom asked me if I would come by again next weekend for another party they were throwing.

"What’s the theme?” I asked as I snapped the photo.

“Bitcoin,” The Man replied.

I groaned, packed my shit up and left.

I haven’t been back to see them since.